its so sad when you are watching sappy Titanic and you and your bf are arguing.
while jack and rose were parting and saying stuff and like putting each other before themselves, jon and i are frustrated with each other. so funny. makes me hate this movie. i used to love it so much. omgah this part is so sad! hahaha but i cant even look at the screen because it makes me want to cry my heart out. where is my jack? so sad.

:( i waited all day just to talk and be happy with you! I missed you all day and the only thing that i looked forward to was seeing you and laughing and talking with you. But obviously things didnt happen that way. It was my fault that i got impatient and irritated but i was really trying to stay calm and loving. If you can see how much i try to work on it in my heart. I dont say it out but i do try. Ive been reading and reading and praying to be a better godly gf so i can serve you. It hurts me so much to see things become like this. Its so not fair. I really tried. I really do. Its already hard enough that you are so far. Why cant you just do your best and comfort me instead of leaving me just like that. It really makes me want to give up. It doesnt feel like its worth it. Im here putting in so much effort and love and it doesnt pay off. Im always ending up sad :( what can i do now?

SF was so amazing! i really miss it! i think i fell in love with the city. I dont really know if i like the weather but it was sunny for most days i was there. I love the parks and the bikers, and all the lil shops! i miss it! please someone take me

jon, thanks for being the kind person that i sometimes dont want to be. you show me how to love others and put them before yourself!

I. HATE. FINALS.

do...i...have...depression?

God please help me! i want to be joyful again !

These past few months has been so hard. I became a really paranoid person. I am consistently afraid of how people will judge me and in everything i do i felt judged. I couldnt be the person i used to be. i want to be the same person i was last year, i dont know where i am now. so lost, so so lost. God, let me trust you. I want to let go of all my struggles, so please help me. I cant do this alone.