Its a one way street?

I dont know why or since when did i feel like everything is just one sided. It used to flow so well and things were just going fine. But every time some things happen i feel so distant, like a total stranger or maybe just a toy or furniture. All my doubt just overwhelms me and i no longer know how to keep trusting:( seriously sometimes i feel things would have gone so much better if my wish never came true. Life does have its ups and downs but im not causing anything to be better i dont know anymore! I wish you can read my mind and comfort me but that would be too selfish