Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Saturday, August 20, 2011
man why do i fear so much of being judged by man. i can barely accept the fact that one sister who i had a miscommunication with followed me on my tumblr. it made me so hesitant and just afraid. i dont know what i am afraid of. wait yea i do, i think im just scared of rebuilding that friendship. im afraid of unspoken tension and more miscommunications. God please help me to have peace in my heart. I know you can do wonderful things, please mend my heart up. Take away all my bitterness and jealousy. God please help me, i need you.
Friday, August 19, 2011
tonight i had a great time catching up with carrie. shes one of the few close friends that can truly understand what i am going through and also truly relate to them. God definitely blessed me with such a great sister to really understand what i going through. each time i talk with her, she really sees me and my heart. i am so blessed :)
on the other hand, i want to mend some old relationships that have been distant but i am also afraid to try because what if it doesnt work out. what if things gets worse. i want to open up again to them, and share and be loving, but i fear their rejection and further tension. what should i do?
on the other hand, i want to mend some old relationships that have been distant but i am also afraid to try because what if it doesnt work out. what if things gets worse. i want to open up again to them, and share and be loving, but i fear their rejection and further tension. what should i do?
Thursday, August 18, 2011
"I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go.." - Genesis 28:15
God you already stated that you will be with us forever, wherever I go, but why do I still fear about my future. I fear so much for my apartment, I fear the judgement of my friends on my relationship, I fear men so much more than I fear you. Its so hard to let go of my problems because I fear what you are going to do next. I dont trust in you, I dont trust in your love. God please help me to put you first, to worship you and only you and not idolize any acceptance or security.
I think fearing people's judgement has led me to be more MIA. I dont meet up with people because I am afraid that if I do share about my sins and flaws, they will judge me. I have been in so much denial. I tell myself I am too lazy to meet up or that I am busy or too far away from people, but instead I am just afraid. God please just take my life and let your will be done.
God you already stated that you will be with us forever, wherever I go, but why do I still fear about my future. I fear so much for my apartment, I fear the judgement of my friends on my relationship, I fear men so much more than I fear you. Its so hard to let go of my problems because I fear what you are going to do next. I dont trust in you, I dont trust in your love. God please help me to put you first, to worship you and only you and not idolize any acceptance or security.
I think fearing people's judgement has led me to be more MIA. I dont meet up with people because I am afraid that if I do share about my sins and flaws, they will judge me. I have been in so much denial. I tell myself I am too lazy to meet up or that I am busy or too far away from people, but instead I am just afraid. God please just take my life and let your will be done.
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