Its a one way street?

I dont know why or since when did i feel like everything is just one sided. It used to flow so well and things were just going fine. But every time some things happen i feel so distant, like a total stranger or maybe just a toy or furniture. All my doubt just overwhelms me and i no longer know how to keep trusting:( seriously sometimes i feel things would have gone so much better if my wish never came true. Life does have its ups and downs but im not causing anything to be better i dont know anymore! I wish you can read my mind and comfort me but that would be too selfish

easier said than done

TRUST!

i think how funny it is that i trust people that i just met and i open up to them but i have trouble trusting some of my closest friends. friends over the past 6 months has seriously lost my trust and now i dont even know why i cant trust those that are close to me. yea, i do tell them my deep feelings and secrets but somehow i dont believe in what they say. its very frustrating, i know i should trust them but its so hard. they may say things that are honest and genuine however, i feel like its all sugar coated and sweet talk. i try to trust and have faith in them, however, my heart is just paranoid and i just pretend that i trust them. on my good days, i am able to bask in their love and support. but like today, i feel like i am very far away from them. i want to put all my trust in them but its very frustrating that i cant. hmmm i seriously need to put my trust in the right people.