Its hard enough trying to maintain a patient relationship and just to love you even when you make me frustrated and angry but its not fair to me the way you can manipulate things.you cant do what you feel or say and not even think about the emotional hurt and repsonse i get from it. Its not easy for me and i dont think it was right for you to make judgements and i know im struggling with just bitterness right now i hope you will eventually see my point of view and feel the same way as me. i have feelings too and i cant just be used like that. I dont know what is going through my head right now but i know i cant fall asleep. I dont know hows tomorrow going to be like between us. Sometimes you need to b more sensitive to my needs to. I am human and i do have emotions and i do make mistakes but js try next time. This is really not fair to me and i hate it so much but theres nothing i can do about it now.

1. beach
2. making dinner
3. bring blankies
4. stargazing
:)

WHAT IN THE WORLD

is it just me or are couples breaking up left and right.
i feel like all the couples i know or most of them are breaking up. i came up with a theory about relationships. The 3 year curse is whats going around. So many couples that dated for over 2-3 years are breaking up. its so sad , because i feel like they were getting married for sure. I guess God has his plans for us and sometimes break ups are a part of his will. All i can do now is just view my relationship as a path towards marriage but definitely not treat it as if i am going to marry jon.

Final Stretch

Today i finished two of my three finals. The first one was intro to crim and the other one was Psych 11B. Both were okay with a few questions i wasnt too sure about. i hope i did well, i really need to raise my GPA. But all i can do now is just study hard for my last final which is on thursday at 8am for my psych 11a class. After that i am done! i cant wait to just relax at home and just to sleep in and play with my dogs.

Lately i have been getting really irritated by jon. i just get mad at him for small things or when things dont go well. I wish i can change that and i know i need to be more loving and caring but i rarely show it. Im selfish and i want everything to go my way. Hes been so patient and i need to appreciate that. Last quarter we were reading lovedare together, and on one of the days, it told us to leave the disappreciation room and go to the appreciation room. I really need to work on it and get less grumpy with him. God please help me learn to love and put others first. :) good night

thankful :)

I am so thankful for Jon who always points me back to God. I know I have so many faults and flaws, but thankyou for liking me for who i am. Thank you for being patient with me, and loving me. I know these past months, i have been falling away from God at times, but i didnt realize it till these past two nights. I am glad you are always here to contradict my crazy worldy views and tell me my desires arent glorifying God. I cant wait to see what God has in store for us :D

manga has sucked the life out of you.
i feel replaced :(

finally realized how much it sucks to be accused and judged differently from what your intentions are. i wish you can realize that i was telling you things and working things out of love and not to be mean or judgmental. but i guess you will never see what my true intentions were. its okay, i guess i can just suck up my pride and surrender to this.